1. |
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Healthy Again - I gotta get healthy again
Before I get wealthy with friends, money peace love and accomplishments I know we gon’ ride through the storm
But right now it feels oh so cold
Baby just know your not alone
See I’m just another cog, generation Y. Just another musician, nother asian guy
Just another post grad -delegate his time updating profiles. Elevate my pride
Emoticon smiles hide melancholy times, find hope in the web most irrelevant of sides
All food pornography and television hype. A bunch of great posts that show others living life And then I spiral into a bad place: you’re a shmuck man. I don’t like Chris how do you get by. Maybe I’m a victim shit outta luck and there’s nothing I can do. College passed, no more retry. Maybe I’m just an animated fuck call my hentai who knows why where or when I
Flip out again, I haven’t had lunch yet. Maybe my body’s in need of proper enzymes
To break down why I break down time and time again, have an iPhone but can’t find my friends
Haven’t flown in a year or so - had a falling out with my writing pen I guess I’m the bigger man
No I’m not, I’ve been missing it so much. Lost drive gave permission to the tow truck. To impound my whole sound, tried to find direction with it but did donuts
(said) I finna go nuts in and out of topic tryna talk to a millennial audience
Yea yea, we left Santa Barbara with promises. Confident like we got this shit.
Now in apartments with piles of debt. This is my dark side talking shit
Silence was too damn poisonous, someone stop the voices in my head
Healthy Again - I gotta get healthy again
Before I get wealthy with friends, money peace love and accomplishments I know we gon’ ride through the storm (ohh)
But right now it feels oh so cold. (ohh)
Baby just know your not alone
Just another cog, generation Y
Just another - FUCK THAT, I’ll never let it die
See the second you pegged me as a stereotype
I resolved to kill the condescending stare in your eyes
I’ll stay and I’ll fight contempt and your misconceptions
I’ll slice through the necks of your best intentions
I might offend the weak minded Gen X
That think I’m shallow and need depth perception
Detest convention, I’m unprecedented and
I’ll end a sentence with a preposition, in
a desperate and frenetic attempt to fit in
I mended my decisions to reflect the system
(I was) kept imprisoned in mundanity
Repetition’s the definition of insanity
I atrophied, lost my humanity
In a perpetual attrition of apathy
So I get up in spite of my vanity
I fight gravity
Even though it’s getting me down
And though I’m fed up with triteness and banalities
I’m finding fact in living in the here and now
You can say i’m a clown, I won’t disagree
People either laugh or get pissed at me
Becoming fine with that was an epiphany
But tryna be happy, that’s still a mystery
I’ve had victories and defeats
But I need consistency to succeed
If I don’t have the roots to stand on my feet
Then what’s the use of flying that high to achieve?
Do I believe that to win you gotta go to hell first?
My momma always told me to put my health first
I’m tired of anxiety and suffering silently
So it’s time for me to find my peace of mind and a take the time to be
Healthy Again - I gotta get healthy again
Before I get wealthy with friends, money peace love and accomplishments I know we gon’ ride through the storm (ohh)
But right now it feels oh so cold. (ohh)
Baby just know (oooooooooohh ooooooohhhhh) your not alone
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2. |
Short and Long
04:08
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Pretty girl you turn me on and make me want to see you more
Normal look no make up on, you never fail to pull it off
Sweep me off my feet, a little sweet with a dash of street
I see myself with you, just need the words to
Tell you how internally you mean to me way more than I let on
Danced around this mystery for many moments, scared to step wrong
Wrote so many choruses, most've them horrible I just rambled on
And so in short I long for you
Silly me you'll never know, I never told and now we barely even say hello
May never get another chance, all my romantic intent goes into words and Melody, a little sweet with a dash of street
I see myself with you, just need the words to
Tell you how internally you mean to me way more than I let on
Danced around this mystery for many moments, scared to step wrong
Wrote so many choruses, most've them horrible I just rambled on
And so in short I long for you
Yo, let's go for a night out
Lock the door, walk outside, man it's really bright out
Damn, this place ain't my style
Streets is blinding, hey can we turn the lights out?
Light the candle to your face, so beautiful
So good yet it's so bad, Lady Lucifer
Yeah I'm spitting game, that ain't new to you
If you from Venus I'm from mars, where is Jupiter?
I wanna take you far away to a foreign land outside of this world, out of orbit damn
Or maybe your place of origin but that's heaven, I don't think I rock a halo yet
That's too high, you're so fly. Your kiss'll turn me upside down, Spiderman
Let's get a NASA rocket and just hop on in, night out on the universe no oxygen (damn)
A little sweet with a dash of street
I see myself with you
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3. |
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Tapioca Baby, Baby x8
Baby you’re the sweetest. Sweetest I’ve ever seen
Style is so fresh and I be so clean
I’m so effin thirsty, you know what I mean
Shout out to your sisters Jasmine and Green
You’re Ms matcha. Baby you are Ms matcha
All those other beverages yeah they better watch it
Girl you’re so refreshing, make my day so nice, nice
100 percent sugar no ice
Tapioca Baby, Baby x8
I used to drink lots of coffee: NO MORE
Frappuccino lots of toffee: NO MORE
I used to guzzle down the soda: NO MORE
Now I’m in love with tapioca: FOR SURE!
I used to drink hot chocolate: NO MORE
Looked her in the eye and said STAHP it: NO MORE
Pulling out 4 dollars from the wallet in my pocket
I’m a certified bobaholic.
Tapioca Baby, Baby x8
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4. |
Dopamine Release
03:48
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I HIT RIGHT BACK DOWN
Back to square one. I’ve just begun to make some progress but I always succumb to loneliness, laziness, lethargy
The world begins to spin round me, me
I hit a wall, start searching for a
Dopamine release, happiness it isn’t
I can’t get outside of me, keep messing with my system All I want is some relief, relief I rarely get
So another dopamine release, yeah. I be fiending for a
Dopamine release, happiness it isn’t
I can tell this isn’t me. Who’m I fucking kidding
I got friends when I’m in need and opportunities
I’ll be all I can be, and yet I still keep fiending for this
Motherfucking vice, I pay a hefty price
Just to feel nice, for a few moments
AND THEN I HIT RIGHT BACK DOWN
My active mind, it over thinks like all the time
Tells me no you’re not the one. You’re declining fast probably getting sick (cough) (cough)
Fuck reality come back to fantasy. You can partake in all these
Short term remedies at the cost of dignity. Come break your brain and pig out on a
Dopamine release, happiness it isn’t
I can’t get outside of me, keep messing with my system
All I want is some relief, relief I rarely get
So another dopamine release, yeah. I be fiending for a Dopamine release, happiness it isn’t
I can tell this isn’t me. Who’m I fucking kidding
I got friends when I’m in need and opportunities
I’ll be all I can be, and yet I still keep fiend for a
Motherfucking vice (hi Chris). just a siren song dragging me along to a false paradise (come through)
Yes it knows the art of persuasion makes me feel so damn enticed. I visit once, I visit twice, then a trigger compels a need to deliver more happy and then there’s no end in sight.
Speaking of sight my eyes are so bloody red, fog in my brain causing the day to pass lethargically in my bed.
If we talked recently, had a conversation, I didn’t take in a single word you said. I’m sorry. Too much in my head, this hobby has me escalated to a destination where the real world feels like second best.
And that ain’t right - no that ain’t life. Rationalize that this is fine, but that’s a lie. Neurons once together fired together wired. I am addicted to this script, I must rewrite.
And it’s so often that I hate you. put you down and I berate you Chris. But deep down I wanna save you.
I won’t let you spiral down. Won’t let you become a slave to a
Dopamine release. Dopamine release. Dopamine release, yeah.
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5. |
Cover Letter
02:57
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Hi this is Chris again
Sending another cover letter, this isn’t spam
You may believe my past experience as under your criteria
The cloth that i’m cut from doesn’t match your pants
Maybe the steps that I’ve taken make an awkward dance
The mission statement I recite doesn’t match your brand
But the person I’ve been living, was a person who was running
from rejection, and I’m tryna be a different man
So even if a second email wasn’t in your plans
And I’m feeling like an idiot with reaching hands
On the inside, fears ride up like a wedgie
Heart feeling heavy, feeling like my head is heading straight for the ceiling fan
I’m still hitting send,
with hope it gets to you
And if you ain't tryna hear that shit
I wish the best to you. and to me
Seriously I always prophesize the possibility of defeat
Never stepped up to the plate out of the fear of a no
From a company, a contest, don’t want people to know my failure to accomplish what i set for a goal, it doesn’t help I always watch the
social media show, seeing others living right stuck in
comparison mode
But i know in real life, we all drop tears on the low
And so with that, I’m still hitting send
Even if the audition sucks
Even if i stumble a few lines or they don’t give a fuck
I’m hitting send
Even with the lack of dating luck
Even if the crushes always choose to stand me up
I’m hitting send
Even if the emails reads “Hi Chris unfortunately
we passed you up”
Even if my cover letter never feels like enough
I’ll prove myself wrong and keep hitting send
I fall on my face everyday, always. But if I stop along the way, I'll fail me. Don't fail me.
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Chris Songco San Francisco, California
SF based musician and streamer
twitch.tv/songcojam
instagram.com/chrissongcomusic
youtube.com/chrissongcomusic
facebook.com/chrissongcomedia
... more
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