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"I (Finally) Said Yes​!​" EP

by Chris Songco

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1.
Healthy Again - I gotta get healthy again Before I get wealthy with friends, money peace love and accomplishments I know we gon’ ride through the storm But right now it feels oh so cold Baby just know your not alone See I’m just another cog, generation Y. Just another musician, nother asian guy Just another post grad -delegate his time updating profiles. Elevate my pride Emoticon smiles hide melancholy times, find hope in the web most irrelevant of sides All food pornography and television hype. A bunch of great posts that show others living life And then I spiral into a bad place: you’re a shmuck man. I don’t like Chris how do you get by. Maybe I’m a victim shit outta luck and there’s nothing I can do. College passed, no more retry. Maybe I’m just an animated fuck call my hentai who knows why where or when I Flip out again, I haven’t had lunch yet. Maybe my body’s in need of proper enzymes To break down why I break down time and time again, have an iPhone but can’t find my friends Haven’t flown in a year or so - had a falling out with my writing pen I guess I’m the bigger man No I’m not, I’ve been missing it so much. Lost drive gave permission to the tow truck. To impound my whole sound, tried to find direction with it but did donuts (said) I finna go nuts in and out of topic tryna talk to a millennial audience Yea yea, we left Santa Barbara with promises. Confident like we got this shit. Now in apartments with piles of debt. This is my dark side talking shit Silence was too damn poisonous, someone stop the voices in my head Healthy Again - I gotta get healthy again Before I get wealthy with friends, money peace love and accomplishments I know we gon’ ride through the storm (ohh) But right now it feels oh so cold. (ohh) Baby just know your not alone Just another cog, generation Y Just another - FUCK THAT, I’ll never let it die See the second you pegged me as a stereotype I resolved to kill the condescending stare in your eyes I’ll stay and I’ll fight contempt and your misconceptions I’ll slice through the necks of your best intentions I might offend the weak minded Gen X That think I’m shallow and need depth perception Detest convention, I’m unprecedented and I’ll end a sentence with a preposition, in a desperate and frenetic attempt to fit in I mended my decisions to reflect the system (I was) kept imprisoned in mundanity Repetition’s the definition of insanity I atrophied, lost my humanity In a perpetual attrition of apathy So I get up in spite of my vanity I fight gravity Even though it’s getting me down And though I’m fed up with triteness and banalities I’m finding fact in living in the here and now You can say i’m a clown, I won’t disagree People either laugh or get pissed at me Becoming fine with that was an epiphany But tryna be happy, that’s still a mystery I’ve had victories and defeats But I need consistency to succeed If I don’t have the roots to stand on my feet Then what’s the use of flying that high to achieve? Do I believe that to win you gotta go to hell first? My momma always told me to put my health first I’m tired of anxiety and suffering silently So it’s time for me to find my peace of mind and a take the time to be Healthy Again - I gotta get healthy again Before I get wealthy with friends, money peace love and accomplishments I know we gon’ ride through the storm (ohh) But right now it feels oh so cold. (ohh) Baby just know (oooooooooohh ooooooohhhhh) your not alone
2.
Pretty girl you turn me on and make me want to see you more Normal look no make up on, you never fail to pull it off Sweep me off my feet, a little sweet with a dash of street I see myself with you, just need the words to Tell you how internally you mean to me way more than I let on Danced around this mystery for many moments, scared to step wrong Wrote so many choruses, most've them horrible I just rambled on And so in short I long for you Silly me you'll never know, I never told and now we barely even say hello May never get another chance, all my romantic intent goes into words and Melody, a little sweet with a dash of street I see myself with you, just need the words to Tell you how internally you mean to me way more than I let on Danced around this mystery for many moments, scared to step wrong Wrote so many choruses, most've them horrible I just rambled on And so in short I long for you Yo, let's go for a night out Lock the door, walk outside, man it's really bright out Damn, this place ain't my style Streets is blinding, hey can we turn the lights out? Light the candle to your face, so beautiful So good yet it's so bad, Lady Lucifer Yeah I'm spitting game, that ain't new to you If you from Venus I'm from mars, where is Jupiter? I wanna take you far away to a foreign land outside of this world, out of orbit damn Or maybe your place of origin but that's heaven, I don't think I rock a halo yet That's too high, you're so fly. Your kiss'll turn me upside down, Spiderman Let's get a NASA rocket and just hop on in, night out on the universe no oxygen (damn) A little sweet with a dash of street I see myself with you
3.
Tapioca Baby, Baby x8 Baby you’re the sweetest. Sweetest I’ve ever seen Style is so fresh and I be so clean I’m so effin thirsty, you know what I mean Shout out to your sisters Jasmine and Green You’re Ms matcha. Baby you are Ms matcha All those other beverages yeah they better watch it Girl you’re so refreshing, make my day so nice, nice 100 percent sugar no ice Tapioca Baby, Baby x8 I used to drink lots of coffee: NO MORE Frappuccino lots of toffee: NO MORE I used to guzzle down the soda: NO MORE Now I’m in love with tapioca: FOR SURE! I used to drink hot chocolate: NO MORE Looked her in the eye and said STAHP it: NO MORE Pulling out 4 dollars from the wallet in my pocket I’m a certified bobaholic. Tapioca Baby, Baby x8
4.
I HIT RIGHT BACK DOWN Back to square one. I’ve just begun to make some progress but I always succumb to loneliness, laziness, lethargy The world begins to spin round me, me I hit a wall, start searching for a Dopamine release, happiness it isn’t I can’t get outside of me, keep messing with my system All I want is some relief, relief I rarely get So another dopamine release, yeah. I be fiending for a Dopamine release, happiness it isn’t I can tell this isn’t me. Who’m I fucking kidding I got friends when I’m in need and opportunities I’ll be all I can be, and yet I still keep fiending for this Motherfucking vice, I pay a hefty price Just to feel nice, for a few moments AND THEN I HIT RIGHT BACK DOWN My active mind, it over thinks like all the time Tells me no you’re not the one. You’re declining fast probably getting sick (cough) (cough) Fuck reality come back to fantasy. You can partake in all these Short term remedies at the cost of dignity. Come break your brain and pig out on a Dopamine release, happiness it isn’t I can’t get outside of me, keep messing with my system All I want is some relief, relief I rarely get So another dopamine release, yeah. I be fiending for a Dopamine release, happiness it isn’t I can tell this isn’t me. Who’m I fucking kidding I got friends when I’m in need and opportunities I’ll be all I can be, and yet I still keep fiend for a Motherfucking vice (hi Chris). just a siren song dragging me along to a false paradise (come through) Yes it knows the art of persuasion makes me feel so damn enticed. I visit once, I visit twice, then a trigger compels a need to deliver more happy and then there’s no end in sight. Speaking of sight my eyes are so bloody red, fog in my brain causing the day to pass lethargically in my bed. If we talked recently, had a conversation, I didn’t take in a single word you said. I’m sorry. Too much in my head, this hobby has me escalated to a destination where the real world feels like second best. And that ain’t right - no that ain’t life. Rationalize that this is fine, but that’s a lie. Neurons once together fired together wired. I am addicted to this script, I must rewrite. And it’s so often that I hate you. put you down and I berate you Chris. But deep down I wanna save you. I won’t let you spiral down. Won’t let you become a slave to a Dopamine release. Dopamine release. Dopamine release, yeah.
5.
Cover Letter 02:57
Hi this is Chris again Sending another cover letter, this isn’t spam You may believe my past experience as under your criteria The cloth that i’m cut from doesn’t match your pants Maybe the steps that I’ve taken make an awkward dance The mission statement I recite doesn’t match your brand But the person I’ve been living, was a person who was running from rejection, and I’m tryna be a different man So even if a second email wasn’t in your plans And I’m feeling like an idiot with reaching hands On the inside, fears ride up like a wedgie Heart feeling heavy, feeling like my head is heading straight for the ceiling fan I’m still hitting send, with hope it gets to you And if you ain't tryna hear that shit I wish the best to you. and to me Seriously I always prophesize the possibility of defeat Never stepped up to the plate out of the fear of a no From a company, a contest, don’t want people to know my failure to accomplish what i set for a goal, it doesn’t help I always watch the social media show, seeing others living right stuck in comparison mode But i know in real life, we all drop tears on the low And so with that, I’m still hitting send Even if the audition sucks Even if i stumble a few lines or they don’t give a fuck I’m hitting send Even with the lack of dating luck Even if the crushes always choose to stand me up I’m hitting send Even if the emails reads “Hi Chris unfortunately we passed you up” Even if my cover letter never feels like enough I’ll prove myself wrong and keep hitting send I fall on my face everyday, always. But if I stop along the way, I'll fail me. Don't fail me.

about

An EP about saying yes to your dreams in midst of a bunch of failures.

credits

released December 6, 2018

Chris Songco - music, lyrics
Cecil Decker - mixing, mastering

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Chris Songco San Francisco, California

SF based musician and streamer

twitch.tv/songcojam

instagram.com/chrissongcomusic

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